Built on a Lie Teaser

Chapter 18 will be updated on Monday (providing FFnet works properly, of course). The teaser is below the cut.

I wasn’t sure when I first noticed it, but he’d slowly started to let his guard down around me, letting me see him properly, small bits at a time. I could see it now, and because of his silent stare, he’d given me full access to his eyes. They were a gateway into the words that lay beyond his silence.

He thought it was what he deserved…blaming himself, thinking of what he could’ve done different…that was his punishment. To some extent, I knew what that felt like, and I knew for a fact it didn’t get you anywhere.

But he needed to see that.

“Do you know why my parents were in the car that day?” I asked, forcing back the burn in the back of my throat at the mention of that fateful day. He didn’t answer, but we both knew where I was going. “They were doing something on my behalf.”

I took a deep breath, making sure to not break our gaze. “Tell me, Jasper. If I’d gone instead of them, if I’d been in the car myself…they’d still be alive, wouldn’t they? They’d never have left the house that day and I wouldn’t have lost my parents. I blamed myself, just as you are now - it was all I could think about for months. But do you know what made me change?”

He still didn’t respond and I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything more. By now, he was well aware this was eventually going to lead back to him. It was as though he was already trying to block me out. He didn’t want to listen, but I was going to make him. He had to.

“I had a dream,” I said simply. I’d never admitted it to anyone before. They’d all speculated what made me finally decide to pick myself up and move forward, naturally, but I never told them. I couldn’t because they’d want an explanation, and I didn’t have one. I don’t think there was one.

Maybe it was God again, him and his mysterious ways.